Monday, February 23, 2009

3M NUCLEAR Duct tape

Really?

nukeduct

NUCLEAR duct tape? REALLY?

Well, 3M says that it is “Performance Plus” and “Nuclear Grade”, so it must be. I do love the Orwellian “Performance Plus”, THATS marketing baby! If they could just get on the front page of digg, and get a few thousand followers on twitter...

Anyway, I gotta get me a case of this tape...


The Amazon reviews are pretty funny, so in case Amazon pulls them or you are too lazy to head on over to the Amazon Page


"When we found cracks in the containment structure, we used to have to shut the whole plant down; then there was a lot of hassle with the nuclear regulatory agency about structural integrity and environmental contamination. With this quality duct tape, that's all in the past. Now, when we see a cracked or crumbling wall, we just bring out the tape. The slate blue blends right in. I do recommend that you use use double layers for openings near the reactor core."

AND:

"It is with the profoundest regret that I report that the Nuclear Grade duct tape does not . . . and I mean definitely not . . . eliminate the seepage of the unique form of energy created by cold fusion.

The languorous but potent Sigma waves emanated by cold fusion have escaped slowly but inevitably from our hitherto secret research facility. They have begun with a grim, inescapable determination to deactivate the electromagnetic bonds that unite all matter in the universe.

In short, the Mayan calendar should be taken very, very seriously.

Our staff has already dismantled the containment chamber from our facility, discarded the Nuclear Grade duct tape, and sold the magnesium-titanium-kryptonite intercorbite dicrumupulator tubing to a scrap dealer and used the proceeds for a case of 18-year old Scotch.

In the face of this impending universal catastrophe, we recommend not only to the human race but also to any other sentient creatures in the universe to follow our example with the utmost expedition.

If they're out of 18-year old Scotch, just do what you must do.

"Some say the world may end in fire,
Others say in ice.
We know cold fusion's released its ire,
So please take our advice"

"