Friday, August 14, 2009

Jalapeno Stuffed Olives

To the person who first said “HEY! Lets stuff jalapenos into pitted olives!” I would like to offer you my first born. He’s a good kid, and I am sure that you will love him as much as I do. Hanson, pack your shit, you have a new daddy.

WHAT
THE
FRACK?

While I really do love jalapeno stuffed olives and assume that they were created in heaven by frolicking, kittens, in truth, I imagine that the story of their creation was probably a bit more mundane. More like: “Hey Jimmy! Lets stuff hot peppers into this pitted olive and make your little brother eat it!” But what (possibly) started out as a kids torture, blossomed into a gastronomic wonder. Of course if you have bad olives and you stuff them with bad or too hot jalapenos and then add hot oil, you get bad stuffed olives. But if you start with a good green olive, and stuff it with a nice hot (but not TOO hot) jalapeno, and then pack it in olive oil with no other additives, you end up with an orally orgasmic wonder.

Seriously, stop saying “I don’t like hot food” and step outside of your little box and try something new. You're going to die someday.